Tuesday, September 29, 2009

blustery kind of day...

Today is a blustery kind of day.

(Can't say that without picturing Pooh and all his pals, can you?! Me neither.)

So, the bluster. So nice. 'Cause sunshine just irks me, honestly. It irritates me. It makes me anxious. It makes me uncomfortable. I am weird, I realize. But I would rather have a month of cloudy days than a week of straight sunshine. And if there were rain, too - please, I would be in heaven.

I could not be more opposite my sister in this. Aimee would rather bake in the sun for hours, just soaking up the sunshiney goodness and all the wonderful vitamins and stuff. We go to the beach, us with all our kids, and sit in the sun - and it is the worst kind of torture I can imagine. I love the time with my sis, and I love the time with my kids and her kids, and I LOVE photographing it all... but the sun. Really, does it need to be so bright? I get it, sun, you're all hot and blinding. Yeah for you, sun. Now, where's a cloud when you need one?!

Today I will bask in the dark, damp scene outside my window. Maybe, oh just maybe, I will even get to decompress with the soundtrack of a steady rainfall. Can I get an AMEN?!


p.s.... what about you, dear reader friend? Are you a sunshine admirer, or are you more enchanted with a dark day? I'd love to read all about how YOU feel...

Monday, September 28, 2009

sugar pie kind of life...

I've been on a blog-reading kick lately, and my new fave is http://www.sugarpiefarmhouse.com/! Check it out, it is delish. It is this darling woman, who feels called to make her home and her family her main priority. She gets up every morning and gets dressed nicely and comfortably, puts on full make-up, ties on an apron, and spends her time cooking and decorating and generally caring for her home.


I know that there are some who probably find that ridiculous. But, I find it refreshing, and charming, and inspiring. I love to decorate, and I would love to make my home feel welcoming and warm. I just fell in love with the idea of creating a sanctuary for my family - for my husband and my kids to want to be here above anywhere else, to leave them with memories of a happy, warm, comforting home.


As my life is now, my kids are going to remember that Mom showered and got dressed at 4pm, when it was time to go to work. That the house was raggedy looking, unless company was coming. That laundry was wrinkled or dirty, and a hunt was necessary to find school clothes every morning. That we ate at the coffee table in the living room, and most often it was convenience food made with as little effort as possible.


Is this the legacy that I want to give to my children, or my husband?


Certainly not. And I have to admit that I just didn't think about it much before. I get by each day, mere survival my main goal. To have the day be not horrible on the whole was good enough for me. But that is not the life that I deserve, nor is it the life that I want to provide for my family. I want a life that demands a pleasant, joyous day. I want a home that fills my family with warm fuzzy feelings. Not Stepford-perfect, but the best that I can do, with all of my ability and creativity in use.


That is sort of my intention with this blog. To encourage myself and others in creating a life that is full of our best, that is not just settling for what can get us by.
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more gratitude...

#11... for the smell of apple cider and cinnamon and ginger simmering on my stovetop

#12... for fresh, clean towels to wrap up in after a long, hot shower

#13... for fall leaves in every shade imaginable

#14... for Mountain Dew to start the day

#15... for discovering new blogs to dig into and roll around in

#16... for new ideas or concepts sinking into my brain and my heart and my spirit

#17... for thrift shopping for hours, alone, and uncovering treasures that make me giddy

#18... for the pure beauty of a pinecone

#19... for lego creations straight of an active little brain

#20... for random, unprovoked "i love you" from the mouths of honest little souls


If you've found me today, will you leave me a comment? Just say hello, share something if you wish.... I'd love to know that someone has seen me.

Monday, September 21, 2009

ungrateful?!

I'm in a funk. Not unusual for me, but still...uncomfortable nontheless. I feel adrift, flailing in a turbulent sea. I am gasping for breath. I am slipping under, and I am losing the will to fight the tide.

I want MORE from life. Not more money, or more "things", although those wouldn't be unwelcome. But I want more richness of life, more richness of relationship, more wealth that comes from a feeling of belonging to people and the world around me. I want to know that I matter, in an important way, to others. I want my life, my existence to have a purpose. I want to thrive, rather than live in the basic survival mode I've been stuck in.

And for me, those feelings, this searching, has been bringing me to my Bible, to my church, to my fellow believers (a group full of friend possibilities), to an inner sanctuary of delight and joy in HIM. I want to know more, to learn more, to love more, to understand more, to question more, to seek more, to submit more, to bend more. I want MORE nearness to Him, plain and simple.

My mindset of late has prompted lots of blog-reading, and I came across a blog that gives me a peaceful moment, every time I look at it. www.aholyexperience.com gave me a challenging and exciting idea: an ongoing list of gratitude, with an initial goal of 1,000 reasons to be grateful. The sight has new gratitude postings every Monday; I'm not sure when I'll do mine, most likely it will be random, as I'm not a structured person.

Gratitude need not be grand, although it certainly can look that way. It can also be found in the mundane, the day-to-day, the miniscule details that we constantly breeze by in the busy bustle of our busy lives. So...

#1... for Camden's sketches, that make me thrilled to think of what he'll create tomorrow, and the day after that, and next year.

#2... for the fall season in Maine. Seriously, why would you live anywhere else from September to November? Apples, leaves, crunchy footsteps, sweater necessary chills, a general cozying-up.

#3... for soft hair nuzzled under my chin, my lap full of my Wyatt and his blankie, the sound of him sucking on his fingers beating like my own heart.

#4... for three hours of blissful silence every afternoon, and for the noise that comes home on a yellow school bus.

#5... for a God that saw more than I. I saw a life of change and seperation, and He saw a softening of hearts leading to a reunion of love.

#6... for a man called Nate, who consistently surprises me, with words and deeds and ideas and feelings and notions.

#7... for a dishwasher that magically cleans my grime with no effort on my part.

#8... for piles of blankets and comforters and quilts to cover and smother me all night, just as I like it.

#9... for a God that painted into existence the colors yellow and orange and brown and green - and the lush varieties of those blissful colors that I can glance outside and witness.

#10... for my brain and my heart. As muddled as they sometimes get, as much as I may question them, they are uniquely mine, and I treasure my individuality.

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Would you share some thoughts with me today?